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Cookie McPloppypants

from A Massive Dinosaur by Bationmaster

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lyrics

Sitting around wasting away in a tiny room
Cut off from the world that I once knew
My faith is shaken from the terrifying discovery
That the gods we loved have abandoned us for cookies
What the fuck?! X8
Why have our gods become so gluttonous?
Their sweet confection fucked us over
In all our years upon this earth
Are cookies really all we’re worth?
A crunchy wafer will eliminate the population
Because the gods are fucking weird
Apocalyptic visions are haunting me
I see a meteor shower of cookies
Children screaming for mother as they’re squelched underneath
The biggest freaking crumbs you’ve ever seen
All the destruction, all the pain
I’m never eating a cookie again
I swear to you the next time I meet a baker
I’ll give him such a good talking to
He’ll feel so bad for himself
I might even write a letter of complaint
That this song wasn’t as gruesome as the other ones
Well now it’s time to reveal the twist behind this story
The whole reason the gods abandoned us for sugary consumption in the first place
This twist is gonna blow every part of your fucking mind because you literally will not expect it at all
It will shock the core of your brain like an angry, partially aroused yet bizarrely attractive transvestite spider monkey
I think you’re ready now, for me to tell you the greatest twist in any story ever told
Here it comes…

credits

from A Massive Dinosaur, released September 1, 2016

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Bationmaster Scotland, UK

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